Standing, Climbing, Falling
by alienangel19852003
Summary: Jackson Stewart will never forgive himself for what happened to Miley,and Miley can never forget it. Will a fresh start in Malibu being herself and making new friends be enough to heal Miley?
1. Just a Dream

**Title:** Standing Climbing Falling

**Author**: alienangel19852003

**Summary**: Jackson Stewart will never forgive himself for what happened to Miley, and Miley will never forget it. Nick Lucas won't stop loving Miley, but he knows that she won't ever return his feelings. Robbie Ray knows something is wrong but they won't tell him, he hopes moving his daughter out of the spotlight of her double identity Hannah Montana and letting her be Miley might help. Miley has been hiding so much from everyone and a girl named Lilly Truscott might be the only one who can help heal her.

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction and is written for fun I don't own anything nor do I make any money off of this.

**************************Chapter One***************************

****************************Just a Dream*************************

Miley woke herself up screaming, another night of the dreams. Her eyes flew open and she glanced around her bedroom adjusting to the darkness and the unpacked boxes looming in the shadows. She hated those dreams and she hated that they terrified her so much, and she hated that she woke the whole house up screaming. She was stronger than this she couldn't believe it was beating her. What would her mother think if she knew what'd become of her daughter?

She thought the dreams would go away when they moved to Malibu when she got her life back, but they didn't it was the second night spent in the new house right on the beach in the charmed life where she got to be herself without the blond wig and flashing lights.

She was sitting up in bed a sheen of sweat blanketing her body as she kicked away her comforter which wasn't much comfort actually. The door pushed open and she squinted in the dim light startled for a moment but relief washed over her when she saw it was her brother Jackson.

She and Jackson had never been particularly close even though they were brother and sister and relatively close in age. He was only three years older than her and he was into working on cars, belching and chasing girls. Miley had been musically inclined her whole life and her true talent lie in singing, and since she was a child that shoved her into the spotlight.

She understood why Jackson would resent her she'd been basking in everyone's attention for as long as she could remember. But being the center of attention had its drawbacks, and Miley knew the horrors of all of them. They used to fight like cats and dogs up until everything changed. Miley knew he felt guilty about what happened and since then they'd been amicable toward each other.

"Miles? Are you alright?" Jackson whispered his Tennessee accent still prevalent just as hers was after all these years living in California.

"I'm fine," Miley said nodding.

"You're lyin'," Jackson whispered, "I brought you some milk, it'll help you get back to sleep."

He brought her the glass of milk.

"Thank you," Miley said, "You don't have to do this every night."

"I do have to," Jackson said, "and I want to…you're my little sister that means you're my responsibility. If I had been lookin' out for you properly you wouldn't be waking up screamin' every night."

"I was stupid," Miley said, "and you shouldn't blame yourself, and it's my fault you got into all that trouble."

"It's not your fault and you're not stupid," Jackson said, "How many times do I need to tell you that?"

"What if he tells Jackson?" Miley said.

"We take life as it comes in this family remember? No worryin' about stuff like that," Jackson said, "Now you drink that and get some sleep. I'll stay with you and keep the bad dreams away."

Miley gulped down her milk under the watchful eye of her twenty year old brother. Jackson took the blanket he'd brought in with him and curled up on her window seat that over looked the beach.

"Goodnight Jackson," Miley said setting her glass on the bedside table.

The next morning was business as usual, they sat around the kitchen bar with their father after Miley had quietly made breakfast. Robbie, their father had tried to ask if anything was wrong, Miley had been different in the past three months and so had Jackson and Miley knew their father noticed, she just couldn't tell him and Jackson wouldn't tell him.

The phone rang and Miley flinched watching her father warily as he reached for the cordless receiver.

"It's Jake Ryan," he reported, "Do you wanna talk to him or not?"

"Tell that dick to go fuck himself," Jackson said getting up from the table and putting his plate in the sink he grabbed his keys slipped in his sandals and disappeared out the front door.

"Jackson Rod Stewart!" Robbie Ray exclaimed.

"I can't…" Miley whispered closing her eyes, "Tell him I'm not here."

Robbie nodded and hit the talk button and told the boy just that. he ended the call and looked back at Miley.

"What's going on Miley?" Robbie demanded, "You never tell me anythin' anymore. If you're not seein' Jake anymore then there is no need for me to continue being nice to him."

"I'm not seeing him anymore," Miley whispered.

"Every time anyone mentions him you flinch," Robbie Ray said, "What happened between you two?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Miley said, "I don't wanna talk about him."

"I'm gonna tell him to stop calling," Robbie Ray said.

"Thank you," Miley said gathering up the dishes and going to wash them.

"What's with you? You've been doing housework and laundry," Robbie said only half joking, "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

"I'm still me daddy," Miley said, "Since things are Hannah light lately I figured I'd try my hand a being a regular girl. Regular girls still do housework don't they?"

Robbie Ray chuckled, "I guess so."

"After I finish cleaning up after breakfast how about we go out to the batting cages," Miley said, "We haven't had time to go there in forever."

"That sounds like a plan we can find Jackson and maybe go to lunch or somethin'," Robbie Ray agreed.

"That's really great daddy," Miley went back to work on the breakfast dishes and Robbie Ray went to pretend he was watching TV while he worried about his children.

Miley's cell phone vibrated in her pocket she was scared to check it that maybe Jake had tracked down her new number, she dried her hands and checked it finding that it was a text from her best friend Nick Lucas attempting to make plans to hang out later in the day.

Nick Lucas was the kind of guy that would make anyone happy, he was amazing and in that handsome smart musician way. Miley knew she had his heart but even if she'd met him before everything happened, she was certain that they'd just be best friends. He knew the Hannah secret and related to it he was in a way famous band with his brothers and he actually encouraged her to take a break from being Hannah and focus on being Miley.

Sometimes being with Nick made things harder for her. It wasn't that she didn't like him, she knew they'd be great together. She was just more interested in her own sex. It was glaringly clear that he wanted more than friendship from her but he'd never push it and she knew he'd walk that fine line forever, and it wasn't fair to him.

She wasn't sure that she'd ever be able to let herself go enough to be in a relationship with anyone male or female, Jake had killed that in her when he held her down and took away her innocence.

She agreed to a movie night at his place in Santa Monica which was less than a half an hour drive from her home in Malibu, school would be starting for both of them soon, they went to different districts and he was busy with musical commitments and she knew they'd see very little of each other right now. They were both seniors and busy with school work and getting ready for graduation and Miley really wanted to make things work and have a normal senior year.

Maybe join the yearbook, play softball, take up smoking in the girls' room anything to put the train wreck relationship with Jake Ryan behind her. She finished the dishes and went up to shower and change out of her pajamas. She put on a pair of plain blue skinny jeans and a t-shirt with a purple hounds tooth pattern on it and slipped into socks and pair of her favorite purple Chuck Taylor's

Her long brown hair was pulled into a damp pony tail ball at the top of her head and she headed downstairs without a trace of make up. Something she hadn't done since she was much younger before the Hannah thing started and long before she met Jake. She'd put on layers and layers of make up flashy clothes to hide who she really was, now she wasn't sure if Miley was still there anymore it was no point hiding a shadow.

She spent most of the day with her father Jackson didn't come to lunch with them, he texted and said that he found a job with vendor on the beach and ate there during his interview. Miley dropped her dad off at home and went out to Nick's place.

She didn't notice that anyone was tailing her until she got there and parked on the street next to the firehouse in which the Lucas family resided and the plain black Chevy truck parked behind her. She noticed when she got out and the driver did the same and the driver was none other than Jake Ryan.

She hadn't seen him in three months, since the night both Jackson and Nick found out what he'd been doing to her for the six months of the ten months they dated. She felt the fear that had been stalking her for all this time grip her once again and she was frozen, terrified, that he would come to her here in the open.

Jake Ryan had been the perfect boyfriend in the beginning the picture of the American dream of heterosexuality a blond haired blue eyed movie star good looking Adonis made with golden dreams and bright red nightmares. He had such kind features it was hard for Miley to believe it the first time he'd hit her.

"Hey baby," Jake said coolly, "I knew you'd show up here. I just want to talk."

Miley gripped her keys in her hand she couldn't find her voice to even speak.

"I was thinking maybe we could talk," Jake said, "Maybe you'd want to have dinner with me so I could apologize I'm willing to let go of what your brother and your friend did to me. We can forget the whole thing."

Miley didn't say anything she managed to move away from her advancing ex-boyfriend she was pressed up against the driver door of her little red Mustang made in the year of her birth.

"I miss you," Jake smiled easily showing off his perfect teeth, "I know you miss me. I still dream about you about how perfect we fit together when we're lying in my bed and I'm making love to you."

Miley let out a choked sob. Jake was so close and he was touching her arm she wanted to scream she wanted to vomit. She wanted to disappear to be nothing she shut her eyes tightly.

"Miley?" Nick called from the doorway, "What's going on you're taking forever out there…"

Miley heard him trail off there he must have noticed Jake.

"What in the hell are you doing here you psycho pervert?" Nick demanded.

Miley could hear his shoes on the gravel, she tried to control her breathing, she didn't dare open her eyes she concentrated on Nick's voice and not having a panic attack. Jake released his hold on her wrist and she heard more shuffling on the gravel probably as the men were facing each other.

"I wanted to see my girlfriend," Jake said simply, "I know you tried to brainwash her. As much as you try you she will never want you not like she wants me."

"And you're an asshole," Nick said simply, "Get away from her."

"Make me," Jake said, "Jackson isn't here to fight your battles."

"I will," Nick said, "but before I kick your ass I'm going to call the cops."

"I'm out of here," Jake said, "Bye Miley."

She heard him blow her noisy kiss and then the truck cranking and starting away.

"Miley are you okay?" Nick asked.

Miley let out the breath she'd been holding since the altercation escalated she slid down the side of her car to sit on the curb.

"Miley?" Nick called she felt him pull her close and she let him.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

"You're shaking," Nick pointed out pulling away to examine her, "Did he hurt you?"

"No, not this time," Miley whispered finally daring to open her eyes and look up at Nick, "I'm fine."

He looked so concerned and despite the way he'd just spoken to Jake moments ago his tone was gentle when he spoke to her.

"Are you sure?" he asked his brown eyes sparkling with concern.

She nodded again.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Nick asked.

"No," Miley said, "I said we were gonna hang out and we are."

"If you're not feeling up to it…" Nick whispered.

"You shouldn't worry so much I'm fine really," Miley said.

He cupped her face and wiped her tears away, "Did he follow you here?"

"Yes," Miley said, "I didn't notice…"

"It's alright," Nick said, "It's a good thing you didn't. It might have been too much while you were driving."

"Let's go inside in case he comes back," Nick suggested, "I'm still calling the police."

"You can't!" Miley said, "If you do then he'll tell everything. He'll twist everythin' around and I can't have everyone know about what happened."

She knew she was almost hysterical.

"Miley," Nick said patiently, "He's completely crazy. I don't want anything to happen. I don't want the Hannah secret or anything else to come out anymore than you do. But I will do anything keep you safe."

"I know Nick but I think I'd come apart of more people knew what he did to me," Miley said.

Nick was quiet as he pulled open the red door to the firehouse and led Miley inside.

"I can either let you break and be around to pick up the pieces or sit back and watch him destroy you," Nick said, "Neither option sounds very inviting."

"Can we pretend that we've never even met Jake Ryan," Miley said, "Let's think of him as just a bad dream with a fake tan."

Nick laughed, "Okay I'm game, but what happens when we wake up?"

"I don't know but for now it's just a dream," Miley said, "It's just a dream..."


	2. Crashing into Reality

**Title:** Standing Climbing Falling

**Author**: alienangel19852003

**Summary**: Jackson Stewart will never forgive himself for what happened to Miley, and Miley will never forget it. Nick Lucas won't stop loving Miley, but he knows that she won't ever return his feelings. Robbie Ray knows something is wrong but they won't tell him, he hopes moving his daughter out of the spotlight of her double identity Hannah Montana and letting her be Miley might help. Miley has been hiding so much from everyone and a girl named Lilly Truscott might be the only one who can help heal her.

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction and is written for fun I don't own anything nor do I make any money off of this.

**************************Chapter Two***************************

******************** Crashing into Reality**********************

Miley was nervous about going to school at Sea View High School, she hadn't been to a public school in almost six years and it terrified her. She dressed comfortably wearing a purple long sleeved v-neck with a black lace edged camisole underneath it, and a pair dark boot cut jeans with her favorite pair of Doc Martins. She wore her hair loose a hint of lip gloss and some mineral foundation on her face. She didn't want to scare the students on the first day by going out without some makeup on.

She parked her car and headed into the quad outside the building she looked at the groups of friends gathered at the stone tables littering the grounds. They all looked so happy, they'd probably known each other for years it was going to be hard making friends at the start of senior year.

There would be no point staring at the other students wishing she had friends here, she had to go to the principal's office and get her schedule. She dug in her messenger bag for some gum, at the off chance she might meet someone on her way there she didn't want to have bacon breath.

She still hadn't found the gum when she reached the main hallway inside she paused next to a row of lockers digging for a stick of gum. She felt a hand land on her shoulder. She froze, a scream stuck in her throat.

The hand retracted quickly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Miley counted to ten in her head and tried to control her breathing as she opened her eyes, a boy with brown hair with emo swoosh bangs falling into his brown eyes was standing in front of her.

"Don't mind Oliver," another voice joined the conversation and a petite but still athletically built blond stepped up next to Oliver, she was shorter than both of them but exuded the kind of presence that wouldn't allow anyone to push her around.

"He tends to get a little grabby," the blond explained, "He doesn't know how to act around a pretty girl."

"Like you do?" Oliver glared playfully at the girl.

"I wouldn't have scared her like that," the girl stated before she turned a pair of sparkling blue eyes on Miley her concern etched across her brow, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Miley said.

"So fine you could have been a ticket," Oliver muttered but the two girls still heard him and sent him dual glares.

"Don't mind him," the blond said, "I'm the only girl that talks to him and I don't swing that way and I wouldn't swing his way if I _was_ into guys. I'm Lilly Truscott, and I haven't seen you around."

Miley smiled she'd met people and one of them was a lesbian someone she could actually relate to.

"That would be because it's my first day," Miley said, "I'm Miley Stewart."

"That's an interesting name," Oliver said.

Lilly rolled her eyes and whispered to Miley but it was just loud enough for Oliver to hear, "Here comes one of his lame pick up lines…just smile politely and don't crush his fragile little male ego."

Oliver looked deflated, "Wasn't gonna hit on her. Why do you think I hit on every girl with in range? I just wanted to get to my locker."

"Because you do," Lilly said before turning to regard Miley, "Are you heading to the principal's office?"

"Yeah," Miley said, "Gotta pick up the class schedule."

"Oliver is just going to get his books and we'll walk with you," Lilly said as Miley noticed the other side of the hallway had a huge mural of a shark in a basketball jersey snarling as he made a dunk shot in a basketball hoop, "Sea View High is a dangerous place a slice like you could be in some real trouble going into the shark tank alone."

Miley moved aside and she watched with Lilly as Oliver opened his locker effortlessly by tapping on it with his fist four times after spinning the dial one number.

"Still got it," Oliver muttered to himself.

Miley looked to Lilly to clarify.

"He thinks he's the locker doctor," Lilly rolled her eyes, "Anyone can do that."

Oliver retrieved his books, "Can you?"

"Yeah I can," Lilly said, "Stand back."

Miley situated herself behind Oliver and peered at Lilly over his shoulder. Lilly made a noise like you would hear in karate movie and her leg shot out so quickly Miley thought she might have imagined it. Lilly's Converse clad foot struck the locker at the end of the row with a force that made the all rattle, it happened so quickly that by the time Lilly retracted her leg all the lockers had come open.

"Whoa," Miley gaped at the lockers.

"We'd better get out of here before Mr. Newton comes," Lilly said, "He hates my guts."

"Good idea," Miley said, "How'd you do it anyway?"

"I've been studying martial arts since I was a kid, but I only recently got into Tai Chi," Lilly explained, "I merely focused my energy and that's what happened."

"So that stuff like really works?" Miley said she'd never thought much on Eastern philosophy.

"For me it does," Lilly said as they made their way down the hall.

"For me too," Oliver said, "She's kicked my ass more than I'd like to admit over the years. We started out in the same karate class. I dropped out somewhere around purple belt though."

Lilly and Oliver were clearly into the skater punk scene from how they were dressed, Oliver was wearing baggy black shorts with board shoes a plain white tee shirt with a yellow and black hoody over it. Lilly was wearing black and blue plaid Bermuda shorts with a shrunk Avenged Seven Fold tee shirt and her black Chuck Taylor's.

The warning bell had rang and other students were entering the halls. Some of them said hello to Lilly and Oliver as they passed, so Miley reasoned that the two were pretty popular, they both seemed amicable.

"Here it is the principal's office," Lilly pushed open the door, "I'll go in with you Oliver is ducking Ms. Jones the secretary he owes her money for last years parking fees."

"I paid her last week," Oliver admitted sheepishly, "I can go in."

Lilly gave a hearty chuckle and sat down on the wooden bench and Oliver did the same.

Miley went to the secretary told her who she was and what she needed and she waited for a printed copy of the schedule. Miley was given a student handbook full of rules she was sure to skim it that night when she got home. She was also given her schedule and her homeroom assignment and some fliers for student activities.

"We didn't even ask what grade you were in," Oliver said to Miley once they'd retreated from the office.

"I'm a senior," Miley said shifting though the fliers as they walked.

"Us too," Lilly said, "Let's see the schedule."

Miley handed it over still looking at the fliers.

"We're all in the same homeroom, Mr. Guerin that's good because it's right there and we would've been late otherwise," Lilly said.

Miley was too wrapped up in the fliers she wasn't looking where she was going when she tried to follow Oliver who was a few paces ahead of her into the classroom she almost hit the door frame but Lilly grabbed her shoulders and gently steered her inside.

"Thanks," Miley said.

"That could have been messy," Lilly said, "What's so interesting about those fliers?"

"Well," Miley said, "I've been home schooled since the seventh grade and I want to pick up a couple of extra curricular activities make my senior year as normal as possible."

Lilly raised an eyebrow and looked over at Oliver.

"Don't tell me you're a cheerleader," Lilly said.

"I was when I was in sixth grade," Miley admitted, "But I also played softball and I was only a cheerleader because my school at the time didn't have a gymnastics team."

"She plays softball and she's flexible," Oliver muttered, he really needed to get the under the breath thing down unless he was talking to Lilly who blushed at his words.

Lilly recovered quickly, "We've got a few spots open on the softball team, you should come to try outs."

"You play?" Miley asked.

"I'm captain," Lilly said, "We've got tryouts today and tomorrow, you should come by."

"I think I will, I don't have anythin' planned for this afternoon," Miley said, "I'll swing by."

"What do you play?" Lilly asked.

"I used to pitch," Miley said, "Mostly I played second base."

"Hmmm…" Lilly said as they took seats close to the front and talked about Miley's softball stats until their homeroom teacher walked in.

Miley winced watching the man amble across the room he was about seventy and had one foot in the grave. The man started to talk in a monotone reiterating the school rules while Miley and the rest of the class looked on bored.

Miley had some classes with Lilly and some with Oliver, her first period remedial math she had with Oliver and they sat together hoping they could figure out the very hard assignment they'd been given by their teacher a stern looking woman named Miss. Copeland who was relatively young but Miley knew that there was great possibility that with her sour expression the woman would die a spinster.

Second period and third period blurred together she had History and Chemistry respectively and she was thankful they ended without incident. Her stomach growled impatiently and she found herself anticipating lunch one more class to go then lunch. Fourth period she art with Lilly it was one of those classes she liked it didn't have much structure it was free flow and though they didn't start painting they sat around on the floor in a circle and talked about their favorite pieces of art.

"What about you," Mr. Thompson asked he was a middle aged man with kind eyes that was graying around his temples Miley noticed as he looked down at his class roster, "Miley?"

"Oh, me?" Miley asked, "I'm not so much into classical art, I like comics though, there are a lot of really great ones out there. My brother sort of collects them. I like the _**League of Extraordinary Gentlemen**_."

"Comics are a form of art," Mr. Thompson said giving Miley a gentle coaxing smile before turning to look at boy with brown eyes who was staring at Miley while she pretended not to notice though she was getting a bit uncomfortable.

"What about you Thomas?" Mr. Thompson asked, "What's your favorite work of art."

Miley finally looked at Thomas head on, he had rather striking green eyes, and he was handsome in that jock sort of way all letter man jacket no brain kind of way.

"I'm looking at it," he said never breaking the gaze.

Miley did and shifted uncomfortably, she should have known something like this would happen, she shouldn't have even glanced at him now she was going to have two stalkers instead of one. She froze, it was happening again that's how Jake first looked at her when they met.

Mercifully the bell rang.

"Is it just me or are the football cretins being even more Cro Mag?" Lilly asked Miley who didn't answer or raise her gaze up from the floor.

Thomas was still leering Miley could feel it.

"Keep your eyes in your head Dundlwick or I'll have to turn them an ugly shade of black and blue. Can't you see it's making her nervous you looking at her like a piece of meat?" Lilly asked.

"What are you going to do little dyke?" Thomas demanded.

"Kick your ass," Lilly said, "Just leave her alone since you don't even have the decency to speak to her like she's a person you keep eying her like she's an entrée."

"You two quit it," Mr. Thompson said, "Do I gotta give detention on the first day? I'm supposed to be the cool guy here you kids aren't making it easy for me. Dundlwick I need you to hang back. We really got to discuss your approach with the ladies..."

"Come on," Lilly said grabbing Miley's arm and pulling her up from the floor and snapping her out of her trance.

They gathered their stuff and walked out of the classroom.

"What happened back there Miley?" Lilly said frowning a little, "I know he's completely crass but he wouldn't have done anything I don't think. You should have told him you're not into him. If you don't he'll think you're hard to get and keep trying. Are you interested? I didn't mean to cock block you playing hard to get or anything."

Miley brushed her bangs out of her eyes, "I'm not…I'm not playin' hard to get. I'm just not interested."

"Oh," Lilly said with a hopeful smile, "Good so we'll tell him to fuck off next time won't we?"

"Sure…" Miley said.

It was lunch time and they were going to meet Oliver who was in PE they were heading toward the gym.

"I want some Carl's Jr.," Lilly was saying, "Or we could get some Taco Bell. I'm pretty flexible. Aren't you starved?"

Miley didn't have to answer her stomach did for her it was quite embarrassing and she blushed, "I didn't eat much last night. I was at a friend's house and we ordered pizza but I just wasn't hungry so his brothers took the liberty of eatin' it all."

"Well your tummy sounds like it's making up for lost time then," Lilly said as they waited outside the gym for Oliver.

The doors burst open and Oliver sprinted out looking mostly behind him.

"How bad was it?" Lilly questioned.

"I'm tired of spending my allowance on underwear," Oliver said.

"He gets bullied," Lilly explained at Miley's confused frown, "He gets a lot of wedgies. The more I intervene the worse it gets."

"And the lower my masculine pride gets," Oliver reminded Lilly.

"You get stuffed into lockers by the beefy orangutans on the basketball team," Lilly said, "You don't even like basketball, you're only playing because your dad played and that's no reason keep getting your ass beat everyday at practice and during PE."

"It's just one more season and I'm done," Oliver said, "Right now I'm kind of starving. Where are we eating? I want tacos, will there be a slushie run?"

Lilly smiled, "Well Taco Bell it is. You like tacos right Miley?"

"Who doesn't like tacos?" Miley said.

"Amber and Ashley," Lilly said as they walked through the atrium and into the court yard she pointed at a table where two girls were sitting both of them were lovely but vastly different one was African American and the other Asian.

The girls were surrounded by a crowd of people as if they were giving an audience like queens to their lesser.

"Our resident plastics," Oliver said, "I haven't seen them eat anything at school in almost six years."

"No wonder they're so skinny," Miley said.

Miley got over her freak out at lunch she felt safe with Lilly, it was a lot like that protected feeling she got when she was Nick. But she knew Lilly wasn't the kind of person who would likely weigh the consequences before defending Miley like Nick had he was always careful not to over step his boundaries in any part of their relationship. She was getting the feeling that Lilly wouldn't be so cautious.

The last three classes of the day ended without incident, Miley invited Lilly to her place after school she was just going to pop in and change then they were going to get some slushies for themselves and Oliver who was stuck in detention and pouting sending Lilly constant texts about his torture.

"This is my place," Miley said after she'd unlocked the door.

"Cool," Lilly said, "It's just down the beach from where I live."

"Cool," Miley said flicking on the lights noting that Jackson was at work and her dad was out, "I'm just gonna run up and change. You can get a soda or something out of the fridge."

"Kitchen's through there make yourself at home," Miley said dropping her bag on the piano and making her way upstairs leaving Lilly to explore the downstairs.

"Like I need an invite to raid the refrigerator," Lilly said, "Where are your folks?"

"My brother Jackson is at work and my dad is out," Miley said, "He's probably in the studio."

"Studio?"

"He's a studio tech," Miley lied.

"Oh," Lilly said turning back to her fridge raid.

Miley disappeared up the stairs and headed into her bedroom she quickly shed her top and bra before digging through her dresser for a sports bra a fitted white v-neck t-shirt and a pair of Jackson's baggy running shorts.

She slipped her feet into some Nikes pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail before walking out of her room and back down to the living room.

"I'm ready," Miley said walking into find Lilly leaning against the counter sipping a bottle Dr. Pepper.

Lilly's eyes roamed over Miley's form from her shoes over the length of her tan legs that was visible from the baggy length shorts up to her torso to her face. Lilly wasn't exactly leering, but it was enough to cause Miley to blush she found the attention rather flattering.

"I'm sorry," Lilly said, "Didn't mean to freak you out, you just look so different in that."

"It's alright," Miley said, "Actually it was a little less obscene then when that Thomas guy did it in class."

Lilly nodded, "I don't want you to be weird around me because I'm a lesbian, and all. I want us to be friends, and I wouldn't try anything on you."

"I know that, it's the same as having friends that are boys," Miley said, "It's no big."

Lilly was already changed into her softball uniform which was blue Lady Sharks softball jersey with her last name and the 12 on it and a pair of baggy blue shorts and a pair Adidas.

They stopped by and picked up a slushie for Oliver, he met them when he snuck out for a bathroom brake to collect it and then went back to detention and Miley and Lilly headed for the field.

Miley managed to win over the whole softball team including Joanie who pretty scary in Miley's opinion she was tough and Miley could have sworn she saw the girl push up her catchers mask and catch a ball in her mouth. There was a blond named Sarah who was wearing a Sharks jersey that she said had been made out of post consumer products. Sarah wasn't on the team but apparently she was dating Joanie and came to every practice and game for support.

Miley discovered that when she walked up with Lilly and Oliver to find them making out in the parking lot next to an old black Dodge truck that Miley had inadvertently parked beside she could only assume it belonged to Joanie.

"You know if they were two other girls…" Oliver trailed off.

"It'd be remotely attractive," Lilly said.

Miley laughed, it was a little after dark and she'd done well in practice Lilly, Joanie, and the coach decided to put Miley on the pitchers mound pretty much permanently.

"See you tomorrow," Lilly said, "Want us to pick you up for school, me and Oliver usually car pool it's his week to drive."

"Sure," Miley smiled watching Lilly climb into the passenger seat of Oliver's black El Camino.

Oliver waved at Miley.

Miley was already inside her Mustang she honked her horn to let Joanie know that they were leaving and she followed Oliver out of the parking lot and back to the neighborhood he turned left on Orchard Street one street over from Miley and just down the beach where she assumed Lilly lived.

Miley headed home she parked in her driveway noting that her father was home. She got out and headed into the house excited to tell him about her first day at school.

She found Robbie Ray on the phone, "I know I just booked a flight, I'll be there soon. Okay bye."

He hung up the phone and Miley paused in the doorway just as he was turning around.

"Where ya goin'?" she asked.

"I'm headin' in the studio with a new artist," Robbie said, "You've probably never even heard of the girl."

"Oh," Miley said.

"Are you cool staying here with Jackson?" Robbie said, "If you want I can call Sandy I'm sure she would love havin' you for the week. It's only fifteen minutes away from your school and everythin'. Roxie will probably stop by and raid the fridge and she'll end up crashin' here."

"I'll be okay daddy," Miley smiled, "I shouldn't expect you to stop writin' songs just because Hannah might not be puttin' out another record anytime soon."

Robbie hugged his daughter briefly, "I've got leftover pizza on the counter and Jackson should be home at ten he's got a double today."

"You want me to give you a ride to the airport?" Miley asked.

"Yeah and maybe you can tell me why you're dressed like that," Robbie said, "I'm certain you left the house with a lot less grass stains."

Miley laughed, "I made a few new friends and even made the softball team."

Miley grabbed a slice of pizza from the open box, "I'll tell you on the way."

She talked excitedly with her dad she missed having something to be excited about and she knew he was glad that she was returning to herself. Her friends made her think that the hell she'd been through with Jake had only been a dream.

She hugged her dad goodbye and watched him board his plane before she headed back out to her car, she hooked in her Bluetooth and decided to call Nick and see how his day had gone.

She talked to him the whole way home, when she pulled up in her driveway he was being called down to dinner. She got off the phone with him and he promised to call in about half an hour to find out absolutely everything about her first day of high school.

She noted that it was after seven and Jackson wouldn't be home for another couple of hours, all she could think about was a hot bath and heating a few slices of pizza in the microwave then heading to bed.

She didn't notice the figure looming on her porch until she was right up on the person or at least she thought it was a person but it turned out to be a shadow. She sighed and blinked watching the shadow move on the porch thinking that it must have been some of the beach side moss growing on the house and she wished she had turned on the porch light.

She tried not to give into her fears, which were quite plausible but she hadn't seen the truck that Jake had been driving the other day so she figured she was safe and she'd looked for it both times made sure it wasn't parked on the block and made sure it wasn't following her either.

She figured she was pretty safe, she opened the door to the house she hadn't locked it when she left with her dad which was pretty stupid but nobody but her would know it hadn't been locked.

She made her way inside relief flooding her body everything looked normal, she headed upstairs to her room. She turned on the radio before she went into the bathroom and started running a bath. There was a noise in the hallway, Miley froze listening for a few moments before she shrugged it off as her Jake induced paranoia.

She shed her clothes was about to slip into the inviting bubble bath when a hand landed on her shoulder, before she could scream a hand covered her mouth. The person spun her around and she found herself looking into the blue eyes of Jake Ryan.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Jake said, "I would have called and let you know I was coming over but your dad said you wouldn't be home until late."

He let go of her, she backed up shakily until the back of her calves were touching the cold porcelain of the bathtub.

"You look just as lovely I remember," Jake said licking his lips and taking in her nude form, "You've stopped tanning naked, I kinda dig the tan lines."

Miley reached for the towel rack and pulled it around herself, "W–what d–d–dya want?"

"What I've always wanted Miley my dear," Jake stated, "I want you. And since this is my last night in town before I head to Europe to film my new movie I thought it be only fitting that we spend it together. Since Nick is all the way across town and he can't get in the middle of things between us, your brainless brother is off working getting used to his minimum wage future, and the old man left town we might have some privacy."

"No," Miley whispered as the tears started to come.

"Don't cry baby," Jake said, "I know they've turned you against me. I'm here to make things right with us. I love you baby."

Miley just sobbed harder, Jake pulled her close molding their bodies together. He kissed her ruthlessly, his right hand touching and fondling any available part of her body they seemed to be everywhere. As much as it disgusted her she had to submit to kiss otherwise he'd be very upset, and it would be her fault.

"Come on," he led her across the hall and she ambled behind him walking like a woman under a spell he kissed her again slowly before he opened his eyes to gaze at her.

She felt his stare and their blue eyes met.

"Do you want me?" he asked.

Miley didn't say anything.

"Do you want me?" Jake demanded anger rising in his voice and flashing in his eyes as well.

Miley didn't respond she was just as good as a zombie when he was around she stumbled backwards and ended up falling diagonally across her bed.

"Say you want me, and that you want to make things right with us," Jake said.

Miley couldn't say she wanted him she didn't say anything and it made him angry, he yanked her off the bed and she stood trembling before him.

"I can make you say it, and I know just how," Jake said before he forced his mouth on hers.

Her lack of response made him even more upset, the first blow went to her left eye. She staggered swaying on her feet before the next blow came and sent her reeling into her nightstand knocking over her lamp. She hit the carpet sprawling gracelessly, she met his eyes seeing the blind rage in them she tried to shrink back to even crawl under her bed but a fierce kick in the ribs stopped her and then another powerful kick.

She tried curling up in a ball and giving him another defeated look, and that seemed to resister with him his anger faded from his face and he gathered her into his arms. He kissed her already swelling eye and lay her gently on the bed.

"I'm sorry Miley," he sounded so sincere, and were their tears coloring his voice as well.

"I'm gonna make you feel better baby," he said kissing her mouth once more.

She tried to reason with herself that it would be one more time, and he didn't mind her crying just as long as she lie still under him and when it was over he'd be gone for awhile, enough time for her to figure out how to get away from him forever.

He wasn't gentle and he mistook her cries of pain for those of pleasure further cementing in Miley's mind that Jake was really in dire need of mental help. Finally it was over and he relaxed for a few moments beside her telling her about the movie he was going to film. The sheer nerve of him to try and make pillow talk after breaking into her house beating her and then raping her.

He had been really angry to go for the face he was always particularly careful about leaving so much evidence. He pressed a kiss to her hair mumbling something about an early flight and told her he'd call when he landed.

Miley lay there for a few minutes before she picked herself up and limped into the bathroom. She let out her cold bath water and ran it hotter than she would have normally she needed something wash Jake off her skin. She was infuriated in herself for allowing this to happen she should have locked the door when she left. She should turn him in for all the things he's done to her, but she couldn't bear people looking at her like she was one of those girls.

Everyone knows those girls you see them on the Lifetime movies all the time the ones that are being hurt by a psychotic boyfriend they go tell and it's out for the whole town to know and gossip about. She kept all her pain private, no one knew that she still cried when she missed her mother, no one knew how sad she was about leaving her hometown. No one knew she liked girls, she'd done an especially good job of hiding that. Moreover, no one knew about what was going on with Jake.

Once the tub had filled once more and the water temperature was a few degrees from scalding she slipped in ignoring the abrasive tingle the hot water gave her skin. She slowly cleaned herself up washing away the evidence, scrubbing away at her skin and finding herself completely out of tears.

She dried herself with a large purple towel her pizza forgotten when she stepped into her room and went hunting for pajamas. She pulled away the towel and studied the bruises forming on her body in the full length mirror.

She had the beginnings of a shiner forming on her left eye and bruising part of her cheek, her ribs were already bruising and they hurt so much while Jake violated her and she found herself wincing getting and out of the bath as well. She was afraid a couple of them were bruised or broken and some hadn't set well from the last time she'd been alone with Jake.

She heard footsteps pounding on the stairs, she assumed it was Jackson, and didn't tear her gaze away from the mirror fascinated by physical bruises to add to her collection of emotional ones.

"Miley," it was Nick and he was standing in her door way.

Miley moved quickly spinning the mirror around and shielding her body with it and only showing him the right side of her face.

"Didn't you ever learn to knock?" Miley said, "People do get undressed in their bedrooms."

"Sorry," he said blushing he fixed his eyes on the carpet in the hallway, "You didn't call me back so I got worried. Thought you might be in trouble."

Miley smiled despite herself, "I'm fine."

"I'll be downstairs just come down when you get dressed," Nick said.

"I think I'm gonna get to bed–" Miley started.

"–I just dashed all the way here from Santa Monica, I got a speeding ticket! Probably my first and only ticket ever. My mom is gonna hit the roof and my dad will get off the hook because he's not raising insurance rates this time it's me, and I'll have to hear about that for the next week or so," Nick said going into babble mode something that Miley knew he only did around her, "I was scared that he was here and he was hurting you so please at least humor me and let me see if you're alright. You owe me that at least."

Miley shut her eyes taking in a deep breath he was gonna find out sooner or later, "Turn around for a sec I'm just gonna to put on my pajamas."

Nick did as he was told and Miley slipped into her pajamas which consisted of a tank top and a pair of striped pajama pants. She slid her fuzzy robe on.

"You can turn around now," she whispered her eyes downcast knowing that he would see the bruises on her face and on her arms.

"Miley," Nick said he sounded more defeated than she looked.

"I looks worse than it is really," Miley said.

"You've got a black eye there are a few things worse than that," Nick said, "At least I don't have to do your make up before a Hannah concert this time."

They both laughed.

"You put on too much eye shadow and I looked like a streetwalker," Miley said.

"It takes a lot of purple to cover one of those up," Nick defended, "And I'm not exactly the Avon lady so that hardly makes me qualified to work the makeup counter."

"You're a good friend," Miley said, "I know you want to go to the police, but we can't."

"Did he ring the doorbell and ask if he could punch you in the face?" Nick asked, "No, he's not a nice abusive boyfriend, he's a psycho. I bet he broke in here and took what he wanted and got pissed off because he didn't get welcomed with open arms."

"I know that," Miley said, "You're right, you're always right."

"What happened?" Nick asked glancing over at her rumpled bed.

Miley gently pulled the covers up on the bed hoping he didn't see the blood on the sheets, but knowing Nick he probably already had.

"The usual," Miley said, "First he creeped me out, then I made him angry and he hit me, then he made it up to me."

"So that's what we're supposed to call it when he rapes you?" Nick almost as upset he had been the last time; he was pacing in front of her.

"Since you won't go to the police with this," Nick said, "And there is no way I'm letting you sleep alone tonight, you're coming back home with me."

"Nick, I'm fine," Miley said.

"What happens when he comes back tomorrow?" Nick asked.

"He won't," Miley said firmly.

"You sound so sure of that," Nick said, "He's a lunatic. He's capable of anything."

"He won't because he's gonna go to Europe to film that movie that Jesse McCartney dropped out of," Miley explained, "I would stay with you but I don't think your mom will believe I got this from walkin' into a door."

"No," Nick said, "She probably won't."

"You can stay here if you want," Miley offered.

"I brought clothes just in case," Nick smiled, "When you were five minutes later than you said calling me back I started packing. I brought you some food too. And you're going to eat it."

"I'm really not hungry," Miley said.

"I know you're not but you have to eat something just a little," Nick said coaxing her down the stairs.

He convinced her to eat a little bit though food was the farthest thing from her mind and she felt down right queasy. She didn't tell anyone, how sometimes she got sick in the mornings. She hoped she wasn't pregnant that would be the last thing she needed in her life.

Jackson came in covered in cream soda promptly at eleven, he was in mid rant when he saw Miley and Nick sitting on the couch watching something on the game show network. Miley turned her head when he walked in and he stopped right in the middle of what he was saying.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Jake decided to pay her a visit," Nick said his eyes never leaving the TV screen.

Miley didn't need to look at him to know that he was just as angry on the inside as Jackson was on the outside.

"I'm gonna kill that motherfucker," Jackson said decisively.

"Jackson," Miley said, "I'm fine."

"No," Jackson said, "I should have killed him last time but Mr. Morality over there wouldn't let me."

"Believe me I've long since come to regret that decision," Nick said dryly, "however in killing him we become like him."

"What?" both Stewart siblings ask.

"Don't you see it?" Nick questioned before sighing and taking the remote and clicking off the TV it was the first time since Jackson had come in that he'd looked at either of them.

Jackson ventured closer to Miley waiting for Nick's explanation.

"Maybe you haven't noticed but Jake is slowly killing her, his very presence is choking her," Nick said his eyes were so intense that Miley had to look away from him, "The Miley that I knew when I was fifteen was full of life and she was so strong, what happened to that girl? What happened to her?"

"She's slowly being smothered by that creep and if this continues, all the light will be gone from her," Nick said, "and what will remain will be a shell."

The three of them sat in a stoic silence for a few minutes which was pretty much a common occurrence for Nick but Miley and Jackson bantered with each other they argued they laughed neither were what you would call the silent type.

"What do you think we should do Nick?" Jackson questioned his anger slowly rising, "Since you have all this insight and I'm just some dumb hillbilly. What do you think we should do?"

"It was never my intention to belittle you Jackson," Nick said quickly.

"Yeah what the fuck ever," Jackson boomed, "You think I haven't noticed? I've known Miley my whole life, and I think maybe even before that. You don't think I fuckin' noticed she's disappearin'?"

Miley leaned back on the couch pulling her knees up to chest wincing because it hurt her ribs a little but she needed the protective bubble for support more than anything.

"What do you think we should do about it then Jackson?" Nick said as he hopped off the couch and got closer to Jackson, it was the only sign of emotion he showed he never raised his voice, "Murder is not an option. You can't just go around bludgeoning people to death. There is a legal course of action that can be taken, we can go to the police–"

"No!" Jackson said, "If this gets out it'll break her!"

"If she breaks we can put the pieces back together!" Nick shouted right back, "Don't you see that?"

"I won't do that," Jackson said, "I won't make her do that!"

"What should we do then Jackson?" Nick demanded.

"We protect her," Jackson responded.

Nick laughed a short and bitter laughed, "Yeah cause that's been working so well for us here lately. He was here tonight, after she took your dad to the airport. He came in he beat her then he raped her. I was all the way across town and you were at work. I figured something was wrong when she didn't call me back so I dashed over here."

The sound of Miley's sobs seemed to cut through the tension between them and both of them turned their attention to the sobbing girl huddled on the couch, she felt like shit because they were fighting about her. Jackson and Nick's friendship was an easy one because they were so different and yet they had so much in common. They were pretty close and Jackson helped Nick to take risks and Nick did his best to keep Jackson out of trouble. They hung out a lot after Joe left for college and Kevin joined up with the Peace Corps.

"It was my fault, I'm so stupid I forgot to lock the door," she whispered looking up at them, "If I hadn't made him angry…if I wasn't so stubborn and just lay down and took it he wouldn't have had to hit me."

"Miles," Nick said firmly even though she dropped her gaze, "Listen to me, none of this is your fault and you're not stupid. Jake should have never laid a hand on you. He shouldn't be able to push you around."

"He's right," Jackson said, "You don't deserve any of this."

"Yes, I do," Miley whispered vehemently, "I'm not good for anythin' more than lyin' on my back and sometimes singin' I don't have the brains for much else. There's no need to coddle me really."

Miley had a more or less restrained accent at times from the five years spent in California but when she was upset her southern roots tended to creep back in.

Nick knelt in front of her, "Miley please listen to me. You're amazing, I think you're amazing. You're smart you're strong you're everything I think a girl should be and I don't want to see you lost because of that jerk."

"I'm gonna take a shower," Jackson said, "You try getting her calmed down and in bed."

Miley allowed Nick to take her up to her room, and he sat with her while she pretended to fall asleep, he left her only to go argue with Jackson some more, and Miley didn't want them to fight she strained to listen and intervene if she had to.

"I get what you're sayin' Nick," Jackson said once they were a bit calmer and still at an impasse about Jake, "You wanna play prince charming and swoop in on a white horse and save her. What if it's not enough?"

"What are you saying?" Nick said.

"You're in love with her," Jackson said simply, "I know it, dad knows it, and the whole fuckin' world knows it. But I don't know if she needs that kind of love from you after everythin' that's happened after everything that is still happenin'."

"Am I that transparent?" Nick questioned with a short chuckle, "I'd never rush her or anything like that I can't help how I feel. I'm always gonna love her, I can't stop myself from doing so and I really don't want to. I'd be content to just love her from the sidelines so long as she's happy."

"I know that but you need to face the possibility that it might be a long time before she comes around and warms up to the idea of even being a relationship," Jackson said, "What about you in the mean time won't you get restless?"

"No," Nick said, "I watched while she dated Jake, and even when things were good I wanted to rip him apart. I wanted to kill him that night when we found out."

"Well, we shouldn't have stopped, this would be finished," Jackson said, "She wouldn't still be suffering."

"I know," Nick hissed, "don't you think I know that. I hate the fact that I'm a fucking pussy. That I couldn't protect her when it counts and it kills me."

Miley wished that she could see Nick it was by far the most emotion that he'd shown all night, he was always so cool. Miley could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen him so much as raise his voice, and most of the times had happened in the past three months or so.

Their voices died down and Miley left the darkened hallway, and went back into her room, she settled down when she heard the shower running, it was probably Nick, one of them would be coming back into her room to sleep on the window seat couch just to keep her company from her nightmares.

She couldn't help feeling like she didn't deserve having either one of them in her life. There was so much she didn't deserve, she sniffled, she had cried more in the past eight years than she ever thought any human was capable of doing in a lifetime. She eventually cried herself to sleep. It was a restless sleep filled with terrifying dreams. Once more she woke herself up screaming.

"Miles?" Jackson said from the doorway, Nick was with him and they were both in their pajamas.

"I'm fine," she whispered, "I hate that you two are having to make such a fuss over me."

"It's no trouble," Nick said simply, "We'll be here as long as you need us. I hope you don't stop needing us. Maybe not for this but…"

"I think she gets it," Jackson said dryly.

Miley's eyelids were already starting to droop, this time she didn't have any nightmares. She woke up to find the house buzzing with activity, Nick was cooking breakfast; Jackson was sitting on the window seat gazing out the window at the beach. Music was playing downstairs and she could smell pancakes.

"Mornin'," Miley said stretching and yawning, "Did you guys get any sleep."

"A little but I'm gonna sleep until I have to drag ass down to Rico's," Jackson said, "Today is supposed only a five hour shift so I'll be able to come home and crash."

"Good," Miley said, "I'm sorry about all of this."

"This isn't your fault," Jackson said, "You can be sorry about wreckin' all of my robots when we were kids. But not about this."

"I don't think I was ever sorry about the robots, they made too much noise and you kept chasin' me with them," Miley said, "What I mean is thanks."

"You know if you're not up to it you don't have to go to school," Jackson said.

"It's still pretty bad isn't it?" she asked about her eye, "No big. I'll just cover it."

"Be sure to use the purple," Jackson smirked rising from the window seat and folding his blanket.

Miley laughed, "That was more of Nick's idea than mine."

"Well just make sure to cover it up," Jackson said, "You should really let someone take a look at your ribs."

"I'm fine Jackson really," Miley said.

"Well, I worry anyway," Jackson said before he pulled open her bedroom door, "You'd better hurry before the grubs all gone."

Miley smirked before she hunted for something casual and comfortable to wear. She wasn't really hungry anyway. Once she'd put on a simple thin gray thermal shirt and one of her favorite pairs of jeans with a pair of Doc Martens she went to work on her make up. She was actually gonna have to wear some today.

Once she was presentable, she headed downstairs putting the final touches on the French braid she'd twisted her hair into. Remembering that she'd better hurry because Lilly and Oliver would be coming to pick her up for school she had her practice clothes for softball shoved in her backpack and her math homework was forgotten she hated starting out on a bad note like that.

Nick was wearing his school uniform looking neat and tidy and a bit like Julia Child in the turkey apron as he wrestled Jackson away from the food.

"You guys quit it," Miley said, "You need to find a healthier way to resolve the sexual tension that is developing between you two."

Miley was beginning to feel more and more like herself lulled into the idea that Jake would be gone for awhile, and she didn't have to pretend he was a bad dream. She had finally woken up and she was ecstatic.

"Sexual tension my ass," Nick said slipping out of the headlock Jackson had him in.

Nick and Jackson separated. Nick shot her glare and Jackson blushed. Miley was going to have to investigate that situation she was going to get to the bottom of it. She might not be the only one in the house with a secret, Miley was reminded of the gentle way that Jackson had questioned Nick about his feelings for her it was something hidden under the surface and she had intention of digging it up.

"Are you gonna eat or what?" Nick questioned dragging Miley out of her reverie, "I spent all morning slaving over this food and keeping the trolls away from it."

Nick glared playfully at Jackson who rolled his eyes, Miley sat down at the breakfast bar and tried not to wince when she pulled her knees up.

"I just want pancakes and strawberries," Miley said, "Jackson can drop the rest into his bottomless pit."

"Okay," Nick seemed satisfied with her answer he pulled off the apron and both Jackson and Miley laughed at him.

"What?" Nick demanded.

"Nothing," Miley said.

"I was guarding against spatters I hate when I get stains on my clothes, I'd have go home and change," Nick said, "Which means I might be be late for school. I hate not being punctual worse than I hate messiness it's a good think I have a couple of back up uniforms in my locker."

Nick washed his hands dried them while Miley and Jackson looked on both devouring their own food as Nick neatly placed a bagel some apple slices and a few strips of bacon on his plate.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're very OCD?" Jackson said around a mouthful of pancake, "Not that it's a bad thing."

Nick raised an eyebrow but didn't look up from where he was neatly smearing cream cheese on the bagel and said dryly, "Gosh, Jackson I've never heard that before."

Jackson laughed, "Jeez, Nick there's no need for the 'tude."

"You know what Jackson if you have something to say–" Nick said.

"–I'll say it when I'm ready," Jackson said.

"I was way right about the whole sexual tension thing," Miley said as a knock sounded at the door.

The three of them looked at each other, before glancing back at the door, they could all see Lilly and Oliver through the glass.

"Oh guys it's just my friends from school," Miley said, "They're early and we're carpooling today."

"Invite them in we've got a ton of food," Nick said, "It'll keep Jackson from lying around all day eating and turning into an even bigger cow."

Miley laughed and hopped off the stool wincing a little bit at the pain from her ribs. She ran to the door and pulled it open for her two new friends.

"Hey guys," she greeted.

They were both looking at her eye, it was still a little bruised.

"What happened to your eye?" Lilly asked.

"Me and my brother were playin' catch and he can't throw for shit and got me right in the eye," Miley lied, "Come in you guys hungry?"

"OMG!" Oliver shrieked, "It's Nick of JONAS and he's in your house! Did you know that Miley?"

"Yes," Miley said, "We've been friends for years. I met him at the studio with my dad."

"Hi," Nick said awkwardly he wasn't good at meeting new people when it wasn't for his work.

"And this is my brother Jackson," Miley said.

"You've got pancakes," Oliver said rushing over to the counter.

"Sorry, he thinks with his stomach," Lilly said.

"There's plenty of food and we have a while before school…so…" Miley said.

"It saves us from those rank breakfast burritos at the gas station," Lilly smiled.

Miley went to finish her breakfast and Lilly and Oliver joined them and the five of them bantered easily over breakfast then they headed off to school.

"Jackson take care of the dishes if you feel like it," Miley said, "If not I'll get them when I get in from practice."

"I might have to work late," Jackson said, "I don't like you here by yourself and Nick's got to go in the studio tonight…"

"I'll stay here with her," Lilly offered, "We can work on homework assignments. I didn't do that Calc assignment last night and there will be another one tonight."

"Good," Jackson said.

Nick was the first out the door and Oliver was on his heels asking him very fangirl like questions about his upcoming solo album.

"Jeez Oliver," Lilly said once the three of them were in the El Camino with Miley in the middle, "Could you ease up a little bit your kinda all over him. I realize you have kind of a boy crush but you're over doing it a bit."

"I am not," Oliver said, "As Sea View High's president of the JONAS fan club I was merely pursuing answers for completely journalistic purposes."

"Whatev," Lilly said.

Miley laughed.

"You seem to be in a better mood today," Lilly observed when they got to school.

"I feel like I've just woke up from a bad dream," Miley said as they climbed out of the car only to be swept with a wave of nausea.

She tried her best to puke gracefully in the bushes.

"Are you okay?" Lilly questioned.

Oliver had hung back a few feet.

"Sorry," Miley said, "Sometimes I don't feel so great in the morning, it usually happens when I'm alone making it less mortifying but no less disgusting."

"It's okay sometimes Oliver's driving has that effect on people," Lilly said.

"That's just been happening more than I'd like these last few months," Miley whispered.

"Have you been to the doctor?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah," Miley said truthfully, "they say it's my nerves, but I'm beginning to think it's something else."

A something else that might cause more problems on top of the problems she already had. She went from feeling free to feeling completely terrified.


	3. This Kiss

**Title:** Standing Climbing Falling

**Author**: alienangel19852003

**Summary**: Jackson Stewart will never forgive himself for what happened to Miley, and Miley will never forget it. Nick Lucas won't stop loving Miley, but he knows that she won't ever return his feelings. Robbie Ray knows something is wrong but they won't tell him, he hopes moving his daughter out of the spotlight of her double identity Hannah Montana and letting her be Miley might help. Miley has been hiding so much from everyone and a girl named Lilly Truscott might be the only one who can help heal her.

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction and is written for fun I don't own anything nor do I make any money off of this.

**A/N: **Changes POV a bit between Miley, Lilly, Jackson, and Nick. This will be longwinded and yes, this is a slash story… I wasn't sure about the extent of the slash but now I am. M/M & F/F.

**************************Chapter Three***************************

************************This Kiss************************

Miley ignored her pregnancy fears, and went on with the first week of school. Though she had confirmation that Jake was in Europe filming, the phone calls and the texts that made her tremble but she couldn't ask her father for a new phone number he might get suspicious. Nick and Jackson were wonderful but a bit stifling at times, so Miley spent as much time with Lilly and Oliver as she could.

It was Friday and Lilly was spending the night for the second time. Miley loved the easy rhythm of their friendship, and she could tell that Lilly didn't quite buy her excuse about Jackson hitting her with a baseball giving her the black eye, but Lilly didn't push.

Jackson had to work late, and Nick promised to come over Saturday, he had to put in some quality time with his mom. Lilly and Miley were lying on the couch like two beached whales devouring pizza and watching Will Ferrell movies when Jackson entered the house.

"Don't ever get a job girls, you might be expected to work," Jackson said.

"Was it that bad?" Miley asked.

"I got vomit on my pants," Jackson said, "And it's not mine."

Miley pulled a face.

"Where's Nick?" Jackson asked, "He's been here almost every night this week."

"He had to um… hang out with his mom," Lilly said leaning up and reaching for more pizza never moving her eyes from the TV screen.

"Oh," Jackson headed into the kitchen, Miley got off the couch and followed with a grin on her face.

"Do you miss him?" Miley asked.

"Miss him?" Jackson said opening the fridge and getting a bottle of water, "What are you gettin' at Miley?"

"Jackson," Miley said with an exasperated expression, "Be real with me for five minutes."

"About what?" Jackson said his ears turning red trying not to spill the sweet tea he was pouring into his Styrofoam cup of ice from Rico's.

"You like Nick," Miley said, "And you couldn't be more obvious."

"What?" Jackson sputtered, Miley was thankful that he'd already swallowed.

"You totally want Nick dude," Lilly said from the couch, "You don't know how to deal with it because you want to fit this typical male standard to keep up appearances."

Jackson looked like he might have jumped out the kitchen window at any point.

"Am I that obvious?" Jackson asked with a sigh, "I don't know what to do. I've never felt like this before and definitely not about a guy. He's just different."

"He's a great guy Jackson," Miley said.

"What are you going to do?" Lilly joined them in the kitchen, "Are you going to tell him? You have to tell him."

"I can't tell him," Jackson said, "I don't want to lose his friendship."

"You can't keep swallowing your feelings," Miley said, "He might be more acceptin' than you think."

"Please," Jackson said, "he hasn't even hinted at any interest in guys. Not to mention the fact that he's been in love with you for like five years."

"Nick and I are just friends," Miley maintained.

"But it's clear that he'd give anything to be more," Jackson said.

"I'm just not…I don't like him that way," Miley said, "I wish I did. Because really Jackson he's amazing and totally worth the risk."

"Why don't you like Nick?" Lilly questioned, "From what I read he's pretty much every straight teenage girl's wet dream. All doe eyes, calloused hands, muscled arms, and guitar picks?"

Miley rolled her eyes.

"Don't forget the artfully tousled curls and his lips," Jackson whispered with reverence, "Did I just fangirl?"

"Yep," Lilly said laughing.

"How did you know?" Miley asked.

"Know what?" Jackson asked.

"That you were gay?" Miley asked.

"Well," Jackson said chewing on the end of his straw, "I can't really say I've ever been attracted to any other guys before I just started noticin' little things about Nick. Like that little curl that hangs in his eyes, I just want to push it back so I can see them better. Or I'll find myself starin' at his hands, or lookin' at his lips. Then I started havin' sex dreams about him. I knew I was in over my head then. I tried to deny it for awhile when it first hit me hard I dated all the girls I could. They were all girls that reminded me of him."

"That's sweet," Lilly said, "Aside from the wet dream part."

"What about you how did you know?" Miley asked.

"I've always known," Lilly said blushing a little, "I had this massive crush on Alyssa Milano when I was in fifth grade. I used to tell my mom I was gonna marry her. I used to play house with Oliver and his cousin Tiffany when she visited in the summers growing up. I was always the dad and she was the mom and Oliver was our kid. "

"Wow," Miley said.

"You won't tell dad will you?" Jackson asked.

"It's not my place to tell him," Miley said.

"Thanks," Jackson said, "You won't tell Nick either will you?"

"I can't promise that," Miley said.

"Miley," Jackson growled, "Just leave it be. He's not into guys especially not me, he could do a hell of a lot better."

"I think with a good shower, better conditioner and a shave you'll be quite the catch," Miley said thinking of ways she could get Nick and Jackson together.

"Miley!" Jackson hollered.

"What?" Miley pulled an innocent face.

"I know that look," Jackson said, "Don't even think about it. I shouldn't have even told you."

"Come on Jackson don't be like that," Miley said, "I'm mature enough to leave you to live in lust and despair without meddlin' in your romantic affairs."

"Thanks, that's all I ask," Jackson headed over to Lazy Boy and plopped down with his drink in hand, "What are we watchin'?" he asked.

"Talladega Nights," Miley replied returning to the couch with beverages for herself and Lilly.

Lilly took her seat on the couch next to Miley. They spent the whole night talking about movies and relationships. Miley didn't think

"Miles, who are you into?" Lilly asked two movies later while Jackson was making more popcorn and otherwise on the phone talking quietly to their dad, "Any of the boys at school caught your attention?"

They were sharing a blanket after having made up the pullout couch into a bed, favoring using the big television in the living room rather than going in Miley's bedroom.

Miley felt so comfortable with Lilly but not comfortable enough to tell the truth, that truth being that she was gay and undeniably attracted to the girl to the girl who had voiced the question.

"Um…I don't know, it's only been a week," Miley responded noncommittally.

Lilly gave her a suspicious look, "You can tell me I won't tell anyone. Is it Gabe LaMotte the hottie with the swimmer's body?"

"The blond second time senior who keeps giving me Jasper Cullen faces?" Miley asked.

Lilly laughed and it was beautiful musical, and something Miley couldn't get enough of especially because the sound didn't fit tough girl Lilly, who was wearing black and purple Skelanimals pajamas and black beanie pulled down over her messy blond locks.

"Come on Miley," Lilly said, "Every teenage girl has a crush."

Miley looked down fingering the blue and purple blanket covering them, "Crushes, sometimes crush Lilly. I just got out of a bad…re–…thing…"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said, "I shouldn't have pressed."

"It's…I'm…fine," Miley said, "I just keep wondering when the hurting stops."

"It will," Lilly said giving Miley a sympathetic frown, "If you wanna talk about it I'm here."

As much as Miley wanted to open up to Lilly she didn't want Lilly to know about what had happened and what was still happening with Jake. Enough people knew how weak she was as it was, she couldn't stand Lilly knowing. Without her knowing at least in her mind she could feel worth of the girl in her imagination if not in real life.

Jackson returned with popcorn, he stayed in the living room to finish the rest of the movie when Jackson left Miley decided that she wanted to do Lilly's hair, and despite the blond's protesting Miley got her way.

The talked about usual stuff Oliver's latest blunder at the skate park where he not only managed to land flat on his face but he also lost his pants in the process. Miley braided Lilly's long blond hair into two side plaits and Lilly was satisfied that her hair was out of the way.

***

Lilly decided to brush Miley's hair next as to return the favor, Miley relaxed lying her head on Lilly's lap allowing Lilly to brush out her long chestnut brown hair. Lilly lost herself in the task and lost herself in thoughts of the girl in her lap.

She had to be really careful, she was starting to feel things for Miley and she was certain the other girl just wanted to be friends. She had to be careful or she would blow everything because of her stupid feelings and her raging hormones. Lilly wasn't sure how long she'd lost herself in thought until the DVD they were watching went back to the title menu and she realized that she wasn't brushing Miley's hair that she was stroking it with her hands. The silken strands felt exquisite against her calloused hands.

She hadn't noticed that Miley's breathing had evened out and the girl had fallen asleep on her lap. Lilly sighed and lay back against the couch pillows, stopping herself from studying Miley's sleeping face the way she had done the last time she'd slept over.

After gingerly moving the brunette Lilly got up to turn out the lights before climbing back into bed, before she could get her thoughts to stop racing to sleep Miley rolled over on her wrapping her arm around Lilly and placing her head on the blond's chest still sleeping soundly. Lilly couldn't help but think it was cute that Miley cuddled in her sleep. Lilly eventually fell into a comfortable sleep with Miley lying half on top of her, only to be violently wakened when Miley pulled away.

Lilly was afraid that Miley was reacting to their position while sleeping. She sat up slowly blinking sleep out of her eyes just in time to see Miley dash out of the front door.

"Miles!" she heard a familiar voice say, then violent retching.

Lilly tumbled out of bed, to find Miley bent over the flower bed on the front walk puking her guts out, Nick standing beside her rubbing her back and making sure her hair was out of the way.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked when he was certain Miley was finished.

She nodded before moving past him then past Lilly and into the house. They both shared a knowing look and followed her inside, but Miley had already climbed the stairs.

"What happened?" Nick wanted to know.

Lilly shrugged, "We were sleeping, and then she just ran out. I think you saw the rest."

"She did the same thing when she woke up the last time I slept over, I could hear her from downstairs," Nick frowned he was lost in his own thoughts and it would be useless for Lilly to ask him anything.

Jackson came downstairs a few minutes later with bed head and only wearing a pair of blue plaid pajama bottoms low on his hips stretching and yawning. He caught sight of Nick, and was momentarily shocked. Lilly could tell he was a little embarrassed being seen like this by the guy he liked.

"What are you doin' here?" Jackson asked, "It's nine in the morning."

"What? I was planning on breaking in to cook breakfast," Nick said simply.

"Hmmm…" Jackson said pausing and pretending to think it over, "that's somethin' I can get used to I guess."

"What's the matter with Miley?" Nick said, "Is there something I should know."

"That asshole did a number on her," Jackson said, "You were there it's going to be a long time before she gets back to bein' the Miley we remember."

"Jackson," Nick sighed heading into the kitchen, "has she been sick in the mornings?"

Lilly went to pretend that she wasn't listening taking her time and straightening up the pull out taking the sheets off and folding it up.

"Sometimes I think," Jackson said.

"You don't think she's…pregnant?" Nick said, "It's the last thing any of us want to think about but it's possible."

"She would say somethin'," Jackson said, "The doctor says it's a nervous stomach."

"Did the doctor have Miley take a pregnancy test?" Nick questioned.

"I don't think so," Jackson said, "Dad was there."

"Well, I think she should take one," Nick said.

"I don't know if she could handle that after everythin'," Jackson said.

"We have to know for sure," Nick said.

"Know what?" Miley asked stepping into the kitchen.

Lilly looked up and Miley was fresh from the shower her long brown hair was wet and pulled up on top of her head and she was wearing a pair of white shorts and coral Dolman top with white accents the top of white swimsuit could be seen where the shoulder drooped on her top, she looked ready for the beach.

"Miley you would tell us, if you thought somethin' was wrong wouldn't you?" Jackson asked

"Yeah," Miley said.

"How often do you get sick in the mornings?" Nick questioned.

Lilly hung back and stayed quiet, she was well aware that Miley had a boyfriend but she didn't know that they had been that serious. She liked the way Jackson and Nick handled things.

Miley looked from her brother to Nick her eyes filling with tears.

"At least three times a week," Miley said, "the doctor said–"

"It was a nervous stomach," Nick said, "We know and we're worried."

"I'm scared," Miley said, "I thought I could hide it. But I think I might be…"

"It's okay," Jackson pulled Miley into a hug, "We'll get through this just like we always do."

Lilly was putting pieces together in her head, she assumed that Miley's boyfriend had rushed her into having sex before she was ready she'd regretted it and they'd broken up and now she was facing the possibility of pregnancy.

Once Lilly was satisfied with the pull out couch, she joined the three in the kitchen. Miley was wiping tears.

"Are you alright?" Lilly asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm scared," Miley said.

"It's okay to be scared," Lilly said, "If you want after breakfast I will go somewhere and personally purchase a test for you."

"You will?" Miley asked.

"Yes," Lilly said.

Miley threw her arms around Lilly's neck, "Thank you so much, I'd be so embarrassed to buy one myself."

Lilly tried not to blush as Miley pressed herself close while the two boys looked on, one of which was her very protective older brother brother the other clearly in love with her and equally protective of her. Lilly was having a horrible time trying to keep her feelings in check she wanted to hold Miley and wipe her tears away kiss her and tell her everything would be alright. She'd settle for returning the hug and whispering reassurance.

"I'm going to go up and get changed," Jackson said.

"Good, because you look like a shirtless hobo," Nick said.

"Yeah but I'm a sexy hobo," Jackson threw over his shoulder as he headed for the stairs.

"So sexy, yeah right in your dreams," Nick said sarcastically to Jackson retreating back before he headed into the kitchen.

"Let me get those dishes," Miley said.

"No," Nick responded, "I've got them."

"Are you guys going to start treating me like an invalid before we even find out if I'm…?" Miley asked.

"Just relax you've had a rough morning," Nick said rolling up the sleeves on his plaid button down, "I need something to keep myself busy, if not I'd be boarding a plane and kicking some ass poise and rationality be dammed."

"Violence won't solve anythin' trust me," Miley said.

"I'm gonna go up and get dressed," Lilly said.

Miley nodded and took a seat at the island, preparing to talk with Nick while he worked.

***

Jackson did his best not to let his feelings show when he was around Nick. He'd never felt more vulnerable in his life and that includes the time that his pants ripped in the tenth grade and he walked around for an hour before he realized why everyone was laughing at him. He just got so used to the breeze, he didn't notice and he hadn't been wearing underwear.

He'd had another night of those torturous dreams he'd woken himself to shower and clean up his mess. Honestly, he'd never had so many wet dreams when he was going through puberty, so why in the hell was he having them at twenty? The reason was the same as the reason for a lot of things in Jackson's life, it was simply unknown.

Clearly he wasn't taking the time to masturbate enough. A situation he'd be fully ready to rectify while he took his second shower in less than twelve hours, if Nick wasn't downstairs and Jackson wasn't too sure if he could be quiet enough. He stepped under the hot shower spray ignoring the snippets of his dream that came back to his memory.

He was driving down the coast highway in his Volkswagen with Nick riding shotgun, nothing erotic so far until Jackson pulled off on a dirt road and the rating was quickly upped to mature. Jackson sighed looking down at his already turgid erection.

After a few moments of doing his best to ignore it while he shampooed his hair and washed his body, he could no longer do so. Wondering if Nick would be shy or would he be eager the first time they fooled around. Jackson liked to think that once Nick got going he might be insatiable. His motions sped up his fantasy already in place.

***

"I miss the pull of your heart I could taste the sparks on your tongue I see angels and devils And God, when you come on Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on Sing sha la la la Sing sha la la la la ooooh, oooooh, ooooo oooooooohhh So come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips," Nick sang as he slowly set strips of bacon in a skillet.

Miley was bored watching Nick meticulously arrange things so he could cook, he'd washed dishes and also washed his hands at least five times. He was so OCD and completely predictable, at least when it came to the kitchen he was a total germaphobe when he had the time after he cooked at their place he'd wash dishes immediately after they ate and mop the kitchen and even throw away leftovers from the fridge. Miley kept things pretty clean but he made the whole family seem like slobs when he came over.

Miley looked at her friend with a raised eyebrow, he'd just sang innuendo and she was certain the boy was so innocent that he might not have been aware.

"Just pull me down hard And drown me in love So come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard," Miley found herself singing along.

Nick looked up and smiled at her while he sizzled the bacon and started on the pancakes, Miley realized she was starving.

"Sounds good," Lilly said climbing up on the stool next to Miley, "What are we singing?"

"Come On Get Higher," Miley replied.

"I like that song," Lilly said.

Lilly was dressed in a pair of khaki Bermudas and a blue tank top with some white and blue board shoes, Miley could see the outline of Lilly's swimsuit underneath, and Lilly was stacked. Miley blushed and averted her eyes, thankfully she remembered to put on her own swimsuit.

"Did you bring your swimsuit Nick?" Miley said, "We were thinking about heading to the beach today."

"If I go to the beach then I've got to wear Jackson's Buckeey Kentucky outfit which draws just as much attention as me going as myself," Nick said, "You guys go and have fun I'll hang out here with Jackson maybe play a little Rockband or something."

Miley gave Lilly a wink.

"I saw that," Nick said, "so you guys must want me out of the way for a scheme."

"No scheme," Miley said.

"Totally not scheming," Lilly said, "We were just going to go get the test at like Wal-Mart or something come back have her take it and go to the beach and lay out celebrating it's negative response. Even if it's positive we're still going for hotdogs at Rico's."

"Definitely," Miley said, "I don't even wanna think about. This ties me to Jake forever, and I love kids really I do but I don't want that."

"We won't think about it," Lilly said, "We'll think about next Friday's home game and how Oliver is going to bomb the announcements or how the Sharks will probably lose, or about Ms. Kunkel's orthopedic shoes."

"Normal teenage stuff?" Miley asked.

"Yes, for as long as we can," Lilly assured her.

Miley smiled at Lilly loving how the girl's very presence put her at complete ease.

When she turned her gaze back to Nick he was staring at the stove in deep thought.

"Nick, what's up?" Miley asked.

"Nothing," he said, "Trying not to burn the blueberry pancakes I've been perfecting this recipe since Kevin left. He'd always try to eat the pancakes before I was done with them."

"Well, I don't know how they taste but they smell delicious," Lilly said.

"Thanks," Nick responded with an easy smile.

Jackson came bounding downstairs just in time to eat, they all sat at the table enjoying breakfast together.

"So are you stickin' around tonight?" Jackson asked Nick.

"Well, my folks are out of town, they left this morning to spend some time at a bed and breakfast in Encino, Frankie is spending the weekend in the woods with his boy scout troop," Nick said, "So I'm pretty much free. I figure I could either hang out here with actual people or stay at home and listen to melodramatic music."

"Well, as nice as melodramatic music is," Miley said, "We're glad to have you. Not to mention Daddy is coming back tonight and we're making a big welcome home feast. You know how much he likes talking music with you and he'll have a ton to say at dinner about the new artist he's workin' with."

"That's great," Nick said, "It sounds fun."

"Well, until the part about how Jackson was supposed to do the cooking and we were gonna clean up," Miley said.

"I'd pay to see Jackson in the kitchen," Nick laughed.

"Let's hope the finished product is edible," Miley said.

"I'm makin' catfish stew," Jackson said proudly, "I've made it once before when you were in Florida with Roxie and it was a hit."

"We'll see," Miley said.

"Oliver is waiting in the wings with some wings probably," Lilly said laughing, "He's supposed to be here by now I wonder where he is."

"Probably hittin' on some innocent stranger at the beach," Miley suspected.

Breakfast was over and Jackson offered to help clean up while Lilly and Miley made that trip to Wal-Mart. Miley was antsy the whole way there.

"It's okay to be scared," Lilly said as Miley parked her car.

"I don't want it to be true," Miley said with a grave look on her face, "If it's true then it's all out in the open and everyone will know."

"Teenagers have sex all the time," Lilly said, "Everyone knows that."

Miley laughed a short bitter laugh, "I wish it were that simple. Those teenagers you're talkin' about they're not me. I didn't have sex."

Miley could feel the lump her throat she really didn't want to cry she dint want Lilly to know how fucked up she really was.

"Did he pressure you into it?" Lilly questioned.

"No," Miley said, "He raped me."

Just saying it out loud killed her she bit back a sob and shut her eyes leaning on the steering wheel so much she blew the horn when her hand hit the center. She didn't want to see Lilly's reaction.

"Shit, Miley this is heavy," Lilly said, "That's what Jackson and Nick were talking about. Are they the only ones who know?"

"Yeah," Miley said.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Lilly said, "I didn't mean to pry."

"I'm fine," Miley said.

"You should really talk to someone about it," Lilly said, "I can't believe I didn't see this coming the way you freeze up around those asshole jocks at school. Next time they try out their brand of flirtation I'm gonna kick their asses."

"I can't go to a shrink," Miley said wiping her face, "I didn't even want Jackson and Nick to know but they saw…and then there was a fight…and Jake threatened that if they hurt him he'd tell everyone my secret."

"What could be worse than what he did? What can be worse that he could tell that would make up for you having to carry this around?" Lilly questioned.

"Givin' up life as I know it," Miley said, "I really want to tell you but you'd never believe me."

"Why wouldn't I believe you?" Lilly said, "We're friends right? Of course we're friends otherwise I wouldn't be going into Wal-Mart to buy you a pregnancy test. When you're ready, I'm willing to listen."

"Thank you," Miley said pulling Lilly into another awkward hug the console b.

Miley got a whiff of Lilly's apple scented shampoo, and had to force herself to pull away blushing. They went inside to the health and beauty section stopping on the aisle with the condoms, they quietly debated on tests. Miley didn't meet eyes with any of the other patrons passing by, she was grateful that Lilly suggested going to LA to pick up the tests.

They talked quietly about which test might be the best, Lilly got two of the leading brands just for accuracy and they walked to the checkout with Miley standing awkwardly behind Lilly. Miley could feel the eyes of a man in the next lane of the checkout boring into her she reluctantly raised her eyes to his.

He gave her wink and made a gesture for her to move closer so he could talk to her. She shook her head and prepared to follow Lilly out of the store.

"I'm talking to you baby," he called.

Miley froze.

"Ease off asshole," Lilly fired back grabbing Miley's hand and leading her out of the store.

"Oh my bad didn't know you were taken," the man said, "Dykes."

"Yeah, too bad, the ladies like me a hell of a lot better than they like you," Lilly said letting go of Miley's hand only to place her hand at the small of Miley's back leading her out into the parking lot.

Miley followed stumbling a little.

"Are you okay?" Lilly stopped suddenly spinning to face Miley.

Their blue gazes meet and Miley nodded still trembling.

"Are you sure?" Lilly asked.

"No," Miley answered truthfully tears coloring her voice once again, "Do they all know? Can they just tell that I'm an easy target?"

"You're not an easy target," Lilly reassured, "it's totally not your fault that you're gorgeous and that seventy five percent of the male population are salivating dogs in heat."

"I don't wanna take the test right now I can't handle any bad news," Miley whispered, "Can we just go to the beach and pretend that all this is a bad dream?"

"Pretending isn't going to help," Lilly pointed out, "This morning has been really stressful for you. If we go to the beach and try to have fun will you promise to take the tests when we get back to your house and not put them off any longer?"

"I promise," Miley agreed, "Will you be there with me?"

"Yeah, wouldn't miss it for the world," Lilly said.

***

Something was up Jackson was acting even weirder than usual and he was usually pretty weird. Today however he was a different kind of weird. Nick couldn't figure out what was his deal. Jackson was quiet while they cleaned up the kitchen after Miley and Lilly went out, there was not much playful banter going on. Not that Nick missed the teasing but he didn't like that something was going on with Jackson.

After they finished cleaning they went to checks scores on ESPN, and Jackson was sitting so far away he might as well have been out the door. Then while they were playing Rockband Jackson reacted weirdly when they were exchanging instruments and their fingers touched, Oliver who had invited himself over didn't notice much of the change he was too busy acting like a fan girl to notice Jackson's indifference toward Nick.

Nick was thankful when Oliver had gone to pick up lunch for his mother and everyone else at the police station and getting confirmation from Miley that she was fine and at the beach with Lilly. She was putting off taking the tests and it worried Nick, he hoped Lilly could get through to her. He now had his own problems to confront rather than forcing Miley to confront her own.

"Jackson what's going on?" Nick questioned while they were playing Fallout 3.

"We're playin' a game," Jackson said in a bored tone of voice.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Nick said, "You're acting strange and I'd like to know why."

Jackson paused the game tossed his wireless controller on the table, "I should go to the store I still need to get some more stuff for dinner? You wanna come we can get some lunch."

"Just talk to me," Nick said, "You haven't looked at me in an hour. Did I do something? Do you want me to leave? If I'm hanging out too much please just tell me."

"Nick, can't you leave it alone?" Jackson asked, "It's nothin' you did…this…this is all me trust me. Let's go to the store and get the stuff we need from dinner. You can wear my Rico's hoody nobody will recognize you in that."

"Jackson are you going to avoid this all day?" Nick asked.

"It's nothin' you did I promise," Jackson said, "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not angry with you I'm confused with a side of annoyed and now you want me to wear your smelly Rico's hoody?" Nick asked.

"Come on we'll have fun," Jackson said with an easy smile.

Things were at least halfway normal after that; Nick didn't know how much he missed Jackson's playful smile until Jackson started acting weird. Despite Nick's reservation about going grocery shopping with Jackson they had a lot of fun, and no one recognized him with the hoody on and hanging over his face like Kenny from South Park.

Nick realized Jackson was back to his old self when he had to duck a flying catfish tossed at him when they went to the outdoor fish market.

Nick pretended to be mad about the incident but he was really glad to have his friend back and that no resonating weirdness remained between them. Time seemed to fly by after stopping for burgers and watching Jackson eat messily while driving back to the house Nick realized that it was five and Robbie Ray would be getting in at around eight.

They started working on dinner, and Nick got to observe Jackson's cooking skills and he tried his best not to criticize, and he could tell Jackson was trying hard. They bantered playfully while the nearly finished product was in the oven. Miley and Lilly had come in wearing their swimsuits and headed up stairs laughing.

"Can we talk now?" Nick asked.

"About?" Jackson questioned obviously being avoidant.

"How you acted today," Nick said, "I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, we're friends."

"I know that," Jackson said turning serious, "What if we won't be friends if I talk about this with you?"

"If you don't want to hang out with me, you don't have to," Nick said taking off the apron and preparing to walk away.

Jackson grabbed his wrist, and their eyes met. Jackson was about five inches shorter, but he'd always seemed to have an intimidating yet friendly presence.

"Wait," Jackson said.

The tone of his voice caused Nick to stop, Jackson was staring at the space between them and at this point there wasn't much.

After a deep breath Nick responded, "I'm waiting."

"Sometimes," Jackson started, "It's really hard to hang out with you. And not for the reasons you'd think, not because you're stubborn, sometimes very predictable, too smart for your own good, and self righteous."

Nick tried to jerk his wrist away from Jackson and move away from the older boy but Jackson completely pinned him to the counter and he couldn't get his hand away.

"It's because you're funny, innocent, and the way you look after Miley is wonderful," Jackson said, "And I think you're kinda beautiful."

Nick was somewhere in between angry and confused, but so thunderstruck by the last Bella Swan-esque omission from Jackson the most unlikely person he'd ever expect to hear it from.

"What?" Nick whispered.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" Jackson whispered pressing Nick harder up against the counter and himself closer.

The meaning behind what he said became clear, Nick had been slouching and Jackson was reaching and Jackson's mouth met his. Nick didn't know how to react he remained still at first. His eyes closed slowly, and he wasn't thinking about that this was one of his best friends kissing him. Simply that it was someone who wanted him, whether it be love or lust he was wanted by someone.

All the time spent pining for Miley really had an effect on him, not to mention being chased down by empty headed celebutantes, attention whore movie starlets, and fangirls who were more than willing to jump in bed with fame he didn't even really have to be there for anything more than a photo op.

And damn it he was kissing back loving the feel of those chapped lips against his, it was a slow and conquering kiss in which Nick didn't even bother with a show of dominance. The kiss deepened and Nick allowed Jackson to press against him and completely ravage his mouth. He couldn't ignore the feelings it all invoked in him.

Jackson was the first to pull away whispering against Nick's neck, "I know I probably shouldn't love you this way, but I do."

The rasp in his voice and the southern accent made Nick quickly come to his senses and realize who he'd been kissing. He'd kissed a boy and he liked it. His first instinct was to run, despite the fact that he'd just had one of the best kisses he'd had in a long time.

Jackson must have saw his expression and he began to back away apologizing.

"It's no problem no harm no foul," Nick said quickly.

"Yeah it is," Jackson said, "I can't think straight when we're alone. I'm sorry man."

"You can't help how you feel," Nick said, "Anyway, I'm gonna take rain check on dinner. Tell Miles I'll call her later."

"Nick! Wait," Jackson said firmly.

It took everything Nick had to keep walking toward the front door, "Jackson I just need some time. I'm not running away, but I just need to process all of this, that's all."

With that he was gone, not realizing he hadn't taken a breath since after the kiss. Getting into his car he felt badly for leaving Jackson like that, but he needed time to sort everything out, and he was more than certain that if he stayed Jackson would kiss him again and he'd let it happen.

***

"Miley are you okay in there?" Lilly asked toweling off her wet hair Miley was in the bathroom taking the tests, "Did you fall in?"

The fun that they had at the beach managed to carry over to the hardest task Lilly could imagine facing at seventeen.

"No," Miley said, "I'm done, they need time to cook though."

Lilly could hear the sink running as Miley washed her hands.

"I had fun today," Miley said reentering her bedroom where Lilly was standing.

"Me too," Lilly said, "If this is how you want your life to be, you can make it like that. Put all that stuff in the past without pretending everything is okay. We're here for you to lean on even your dad is I'm sure."

Miley nodded, "I couldn't imagine havin' him know… he'd go ballistic."

"So is it because of what Jake did to you that you don't like Nick, I mean like…as in like?" Lilly asked.

Miley paused frowning, "No, that's not why."

"Why is it because you see him as more of a friend?" Lilly questioned.

"No," Miley said, "I…um…I'm not really…um…actually…I'm more into… girls…"

Lilly dropped the towel she was using on her hair, "What?"

"I know…I probably should have told you," Miley said, "You were honest with me from the begin–"

Lilly crossed the small space between them and took Miley's face in her hands cutting off the rest of what she was going to say as she watched Lilly with curious eyes that seemed more green than blue at the moment.

"Can I kiss you? I've been thinking about this since we met," Lilly said, "I'll never do anything with you that you don't want."

"Please," Miley said her eyes falling closed, "I've wanted you to kiss me for a while."

The first brush of their lips was very apprehensive, it was slow and quite pleasurable, Lilly enjoyed the little moan Miley made when she deepened the kiss.

The insistent beep of the egg timer in the bathroom made Lilly almost think this was a dream and her alarm clock was merely going off again.

Miley pulled away with a breathless whisper of, "Sweet nibblets…"

Lilly smiled, "Let's go take a look at those tests."

"What does this mean for us?" Miley asked.

"Whatever you want it to mean," Lilly said, "We can talk about us later, right now this is about you."

They headed into the bathroom, Miley hesitantly took a peak at the tests on the back of the toilet.

Miley let a squeal and bounded over to Lilly with an excited smile on her face. She threw her arms around Lilly's neck.

"Not pregnant?" Lilly questioned pressing their foreheads together and closing her arms around Miley's waist.

"Nope," Miley said, "I'll have to take another after my next cycle, that's what the box says just to make sure."

Lilly nodded and pressed their lips together while she spun Miley around.

Miley was giggling when they pulled away, "I'm going to get dressed for dinner."

"Alright," Lilly let her go and headed into the bedroom to the do the same.

They headed downstairs hand in hand Miley was telling Lilly about her guitars, Miley was the first to notice Jackson sitting on the linoleum hardwood staring out the open front door looking completely broken.

"Jackson what happened?" Miley asked, "Where's Nick?"

"He's gone," Jackson frowned.

"You told him?" Lilly said it was more or less an understanding than a question.

"And I showed him," Jackson said silent tears on his face as he looked up at the two girls pulling his knees closer to his chest, "I kissed him and I swear he even tasted pure."

"You what?" Miley asked.

"I'm fuckin' stupid I know," Jackson said, "I just love him so much. It gets harder and harder to be alone with him without…"

"It's okay," Lilly said, "he needs time."

"He fuckin' ran," Jackson said bitterly, "and who wouldn't run from me."

"Jackson," Miley said joining her brother on the floor and wrapping her arms around him, "It's gonna be okay."

"It won't…" Jackson said, "It's better this way, I'd rather not have him at all if I've gotta be just a friend forever."

"Just give him some space," Lilly suggested, "this is a new change for him."

"He's probably headed to space to get away from me," Jackson said violently wiping his tears away, "I knew better."

"And I knew better than to take an earlier flight," a voice said from the doorway, Miley and Jackson's father was standing there with his arms laden with bags, "I've been callin' you two for half an hour."

"You're not going to greet your old man?" Robbie Ray questioned.

"Daddy," Miley said pulling herself up and extending a hand to help Jackson off the floor.

Miley gave her dad a hug and then it was Jackson's turn.

"What's the matter son?" Robbie questioned.

"I'm fine," Jackson said in a flat tone.

"I've heard my share of those over the past few months," Robbie Ray said, "And I'm damned tired of them…is that catfish stew I smell?"

"Yep," Miley said, "Jackson made it."

"Nick helped a lot," Jackson said blushing.

"He didn't even stick around it eat it I see," Robbie Ray said, "Hey Lilly, it's nice to see you again, are you going stick around for some catfish stew."

"Sure," Lilly said.

***

Jackson picked at his food brooding as the group ate dinner, Oliver had invited himself over yet again, this time bearing strawberry cheese cake dessert.

"Where'd Nick go? Did he have like a concert to get to or some other interesting rockstar stuff to do?" Oliver asked, "Like a date with Hannah Montana or something?"

Miley nearly choked on her iced tea at the mention of her alter ego. Any other time Jackson might have thought it was funny, but not tonight. Everything in his world was wrong.

"I think he said he had to mix some tracks," Lilly said quickly, and Jackson was thankful.

"What's wrong son?" Robbie Ray asked, "Usually by now you might have ate the whole pan of stew."

Jackson took a deep breath, "I'm not feeling so hot."

"Did you get into a fight with Nick?" Robbie Ray asked.

"I got into something with Nick," Jackson said setting his fork down, "But it wasn't a fight, I kissed him dad, I'm gay…I like dudes, well just one dude. Nick…"

"Is that what's been going on here?" Robbie Ray asked, "The weird way everyone has been actin'?"

"Not entirely," Miley admitted, "Jackson has been dealin' with the way he feels for Nick, Lilly and I caught on. We all support him 110% right Daddy?"

"Of course," Robbie Ray said, "it might not be the easiest thin' for a dad to get his head around findin' out his only son is gay. But if this is who you are and it makes you happy."

"Thanks dad," Jackson said, "I'm glad you accept me."

"That's really great Mr. S…" Lilly said, "Way cooler than my parents. My mom cried for awhile when she realized I was gay agonizing about grandchildren but then she supported me. My dad wanted to send me to rehab to get me back on the "straight" and narrow. It destroyed my parents marriage, my mom hated the fact that he wanted to change me."

"Yeah," Oliver agreed, "Ain't no way I'm telling Detective Oaken I'm bi she would shit a golden egg and then the goose."

"Don't be afraid to tell your parents anythin' or me for that matter," Robbie Ray gave a pointed look to Miley who was paying more attention her plate than anything else.

"Was Nick a good kisser?" Oliver said pulling out his phone, "Is it okay if blog about this?"

"My life is a little ruined right now, you cannot blog about any of it," Jackson said getting up from the table and starting to clear dishes, "I'm sorry about being such a downer tonight."

"I'm beat anyway," Robbie said standing up from his chair, "I think I'm goin' to head to bed. Gay or straight remember same rules apply. No foolin' around in my house. Try not to play the TV too loud. The food was good, Jackson."

"Thanks, dad," Jackson said.

Miley's phone rang and she pulled it from her pocket and glanced at the screen, "It's Nick."

Miley answered, "Hey. Are you okay?"

She laughed, "Me? I'm fine, I failed the tests, I'll take another one next month to make sure I'm in the clear. What about you? Jackson told me what happened. Are you okay?"

Miley wandered out of the room to listen to what Nick had to say while Jackson cleared the table with the help of Lilly while Oliver sat at the table still polishing off his second plate of stew.

"You can talk to me about this," Lilly said, "I've been in your position more than once."

"If you ask me you're in right now," Jackson said, "I know you like Miley I saw the way you were holding her last night."

Lilly smiled, "She likes me too. It can happen for you Jackson be patient."

"You'd better not hurt my sister," Jackson said, "She's been through hell."

"She told me some of it," Lilly said, "I wouldn't dream of hurting her nor would I ever rush things with her. She is everything I've ever wanted in a woman and she's been through so much I'm letting her set the pace and tell me what she needs. Try doing the same for Nick."

Jackson nodded.

"You and Miley?" Oliver asked around a mouthful of food, "You and Miley?"

"What of it Oaken?" Lilly said.

"Nothing," Oliver chuckled, "You and your dream girl and you didn't tell me?"

"There wasn't any time," Lilly stated with a big grin.

Miley came in from the other room, phone in hand a smile on her face.

"What did he say? Does he hate me?" Jackson asked.

"He just said he needs time," Miley said, "He's not mad. He's confused. You must be some hell of a kisser"

"Oh…" Jackson said a blush creeping across his face.

"You did just spring it on the poor guy," Miley said, "I told him about us. Lilly, is it okay? "

"It's fine," Lilly said, "I kinda told Jackson and Oliver."

"Good," Miley said, "I've gotta tell dad, but I'm just not ready and plus I didn't wanna steal Jackson's thunder."

Miley took Lilly's hand.

"You kids are so cute," Oliver said, "I hate to eat and run but I've got to get home my sisters are coming in from college. We're supposed to do a big family dinner. See ya ladies and Jackson."

"Bye Ollie!" Miley said.

"Check ya later Oaken," Lilly said, "I swear that dude is a bottomless pit."

The three of them finished the dishes and cleaned up the mess Oliver had made and Jackson was lying on the couch with Miley waiting on Lilly to finish her shower so they could start the movie.

"I know he says he just needs time," Jackson said, "Why do I feel like nothin' is ever gonna be the same."

"Maybe it won't be the same but isn't that why you kissed him?" Lilly questioned going to lie down on the other side of Miley.

"Yeah," Jackson said, "but I didn't want to things to change in like a bad way."

"Well, they've got to be better than they've been is all I can say," Miley said.

"What are we gonna to do when Jake comes back from Europe?" Jackson asked.

"He'll meet some nice European girl and forget all about me," Miley said, "he's not really one for havin' a long attention span, he's probably already doin' it with Mikayla."

"If he bothers you again I'll beat his ass, probation be damned," Lilly said.

"You'll have to get in line," Jackson said.

It would be the following Friday night before Jackson spoke to Nick, they'd been texting as usual about general stupid stuff falling back into the just friends routine by Monday.

Jackson was on the upstairs balcony listening to his IPod play depressing music, he'd just finished listening to Can't Live if Living is Without You (Mariah version) now he was listening to Celine Dion's All By Myself and gazing out over the beach.

He was lost in the mournful melody and powerful vocals and he nearly jumped a foot when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Nick standing there looking completely adorable in a blue and white nautically inspired sweater and dark navy pants.

"Hey," Nick said once Jackson had pulled out his ear buds, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I scared you it's only fair," Jackson whispered, "How have you been?"

"I've been okay," Nick said stuff his hands into his pockets, "I have a couple of things to say, and I wanna just say them without you interrupting or apologizing about what happened between us. Cause it wasn't just you, didn't you notice I kissed you back."

Jackson smiled at the memory, "Yeah."

"You're interrupting," Nick chastised with a smile, "That kiss was everything I've ever wanted and the thing that threw me was I got it from the person I least expected to get it from. All I ever wanted was to hear someone say to me what you said and kiss me like that. I can't believe that I bolted when I got it. You're a wonderful guy, and I've always known that as much as I wanted it Miley and I would never be together."

Jackson was wondering when the M word would be brought up again, he tried he really tried not to be jealous of Miley she got pretty much everything so easily so effortlessly whether she wanted it or not.

"I've been pretty much in a daze since we kissed I kept thinking that because I liked it," Nick said, "That I'd have to define myself immediately, I realized all I needed to know was that whether or not I want it to happen again. I don't know how to do this. I just want…I really want you to kiss me again."

Jackson stood there slack jawed.

"I want you to know that you're never a second choice to me," Nick said, "And the reasons I like you have nothing to do with Miley or anyone else. It's got everything to do with you and the way you feel about me. I'm not there yet by any stretch of the imagination, but I want to try this…with you."

Jackson stood immobile wondering if he'd day dreamed this again.

"You can interrupt now," Nick said, "This is the part where you supposed to get your short ass up here and kiss me."

Jackson moved so close that they could be wearing each other as a second skin. He cupped the taller boy's face and Nick leaned the rest of the way allowing their lips to meet.


End file.
